Jim's Response to Teacher's Retort

Of course Jim could not help but parody the Letter to the Editor (LTE) titled Teacher's Retort in the Northwest Herald. I am not sure where Mel Ingram copied this but you can view one version at lovethissite.com. Jim's parody is first and then you can read the LTE.


Child's Retort
Let me see if I've got this right:

You want me to go into a room with a teacher who only remains employed
because of a state tenure law, hoping that I will learn?

And I'm supposed to develop character in an environment where teachers
shut down the school with a strike, indoctrinate us with ethically
neutral leftist bunk, where individualism is discouraged and religious
expression is illegal?

You want me to be my own person in an environment where every non
conformist child is drugged up and sent into "Special Education", where
under-performers are passed along, and overachievers are held back?

And I'm supposed to master reading, writing, math, and science when our
teachers seem only able and willing to teach us Whole Language, New
Math, Diversity, Multiculturalism, and Multiple Intelligences?

You expect me to get excited about attending the only school the state
will allow you to send me to because of where we live? I'm expected to
adopt an academic work ethic from teachers who take three months off
every year and retire a decade younger than my parents?

I am supposed to honor my mother and father when my school and teachers
tell me my parents are bad for opposing a tax increase, when my school
sends me home with papers calling my parents selfish?

You expect me to do all of this and not to pray?

Jim Peschke

Teacher's retort
[published on Tue, Jan 24, 2006 in the Northwest Herald]
To the Editor:

Let me see if I've got this right:

– You want me to go into that room with all those kids and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning.

– And I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, and even censor their T-shirt messages and dress habits.

– You want me to check their backpacks for weapons and raise their self-esteem.

– You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, fair play, how to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook, and how to apply for a job.

– I am to recognize signs of anti-social behavior, make sure all students pass the mandatory state exams – even those who don't come to school regularly or complete any of their assignments.

– All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few books, a bulletin board, a big smile and on a starting salary that qualifies my family for food stamps.

– Yet you expect me to do all this and not to pray?


Mel Ingram
Crystal Lake